How God Changed My Life

If anyone had told me 10 years ago I would be the person I am today I would have laughed in utter disbelief.  I had given up on myself. I was angry at God. I was a doormat....and considered any attention good attention. I allowed people to use me and treat me badly. I had no hope that I would ever be truly happy deep inside. I was depressed, addicted to food, love, and anything else that managed to get a hold of me. When you feel empty inside, you look for ways to relieve that emptiness. Even though I had been a Christian for many years, I thought God would not fulfill me.

I was wrong.

Somewhere in the midst of my anger at God, I cried out to Him. Even though I was angry at Him, I still knew He was real. One day, at the end of my rope, I turned it all over to Him. My prayer went something like this:

"God...I'm tired. I don't like who I am. I don't have the power to change. I'm so weak.I know I don't deserve it, but could You please help me get out of this mess I'm in? I'm tired of feeling sad. I'm tired of hurting people I love. I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of hating myself."

 I just gave it all to Him...knowing I was powerless to change anything myself.

Today I am a different person, and I owe it all to my Heavenly Father.  After that prayer, my life slowly began to change. Circumstances changed. I went through difficulties that forced me to realize my worth and helped me find my inner strength.

Today I am happy.  I love myself. I have lost 40 pounds so far. I am no longer addicted to food.  I am working at a job that gives me the flexibility to continue to pursue my writing. I have published 2 books so far...a book of flash fiction and a book of inspirational poetry. I have a novel soon to be published. I am collaborating with two different composers on some music I am writing the lyrics for.

I have more friends thlan I have ever had. I have even reconnected with two of my best friends from childhood. I have had the opportunity to travel, which is something that is new for me. Next year I plan on visiting my son in Japan.

For the first time in nearly 20 years, I have gone for a physical and a mammogram. Everything was fine, praise God!

Life is beautiful, and I have learned to praise God in every circumstance because I know without a doubt that he can take the ugly and make it beautiful. Today I wait for the next surprise He has in store for me.

If you question the existence of God, all I can say is to give Him a chance. No human being will ever love you the way that God does. You are His beloved child, and yes...He is real

                                                    Photo by Cheryl A Williams, 2013