Some Thoughts on Love

When I was  a young girl, I had a very romanticized idea of what love is.  It was all about hearts and flowers, and lots of words that sounded good to the ear.

Today I know that love is much more than that.  It took me many years to come to the realization, but now I know.

I was married to my dear husband for 33 years.  I loved him.  When we first met, he literally took my breath away.  In my eyes, he could do no wrong.  Even if there were moments when he got on my nerves, I always managed to put a positive spin on it.

Years later, after we were married with children, I began to truly recognize his faults...and I'm sure he began to recognize mine as well.  Still, we never stopped loving each other.  We always worked it out.  We laughed a lot.  We acted silly a lot.  We forgave each other.  We always put God at the center of our marriage.  No matter how many times we fell down, He always helped us back up.

Together he and I shared a lot of laughter.  We also shared a lot of tears.  We lost a child.  We lost our parents.  We lost jobs.  We had money problems.  My dear husband suffered from bi-polar disorder.  I suffered from the aftermath of childhood sexual abuse.

Many of these things took a toll on our marriage.  At some point along the way,  we stopped leaning on God and started turning our pain inward.  This led to problems brought on by our own selfish need to escape that pain.  We lost sight of one another.  We lost sight of our love.

In October of 2010, he and I separated.  I got to my breaking point and left in the hope that he would be shocked into taking the medication he needed to help him with his disease.  I still loved him.  I still had the hope that we would reconcile one day.

Bipolar disorder, however, is a trickster and a deceptive disease.  It is a destroyer.  In July of 2012, I lost my dear Bob to this disease.  It felt like a part of me was gone...and, in truth, it was.

I've had a lot of time to think about the real meaning of love.  I now know that love is about so much more than romance. Love is about a deep and abiding friendship. When you love someone, you want the best for that person and you will never give up on that person. Even if circumstances force you to part ways, you will continue to want the best for the person.

My advice to lovers. Spend time together. Laugh together. Do not take one moment for granted.  Respect one another. Say " I love you."  SHOW " I love you." Life on this earth is fleeting, and moments missed may never come again.

P